When we say things like "people don't change" it drives scientist crazy because change is literally the only constant in all of science. Energy. Matter. It's always changing, morphing, merging, growing, dying. It's the way people try not to change that's unnatural. The way we cling to what things were instead of letting things be what they are. The way we cling to old memories instead of forming new ones. The way we insist on believing despite every scientific indication that anything in this lifetime is permanent. Change is constant. How we experience change that's up to us. It can feel like death or it can feel like a second chance at life. If we open our fingers, loosen our grips, go with it, it can feel like pure adrenaline. Like at any moment we can have another chance at life. Like at any moment, we can be born all over again.
Meredith: You knew? You knew they were going to cut her open?
Cristina: No. No!
Meredith: Lexie just said that you knew!
Cristina: Sutures! I knew they were doing sutures on themselves. And I didn't think I needed to say anything because I shut it down. I handled it!
Meredith: Well, apparently you didn't, because it almost cost Lexie her job, not to mention that Sadie almost died in there!
Cristina: Okay, Sadie did that to herself. And let's not pretend that you have some sort of relationship with Lexie? Let's not pretend that you care about her.
Meredith: I care about my job! And I care about doing the right thing!
Cristina: Who are you to lecture me about doing the right thing?! Are you kidding me? You're not an attending, Meredith. You may be sleeping with one, but you aren't one yet.
Meredith: Is that what this is about? Derek? It's always going to be about Derek?
Cristina: Okay, fine, it's not about Derek, it's about you and me, and the fact that you didn't have my back in that room!
Meredith: What would you have wanted me to say...
Cristina: I don't know, anything! You should have said anything! You have a relationship with the Chief. You have his ear. But you didn't say anything to defend me! Because this isn't just on me. I mean, you just stood there and you watched him take me out of the running for solo surgery. You let me take all the blame. But the fact is that we all had interns in that room. We all failed to supervise them. And if your friend had died in there, that would have been on all of us too. You should have said that.
Meredith: Cristina.
Cristina: How are you fine? How are you just completely fine? I'm ruined, okay? I am dead. I am wrecked. And you're just walking around, what? Babysitting me, as if you didn't go through the same thing, too. Why are you okay?
Meredith: I don't know.
Cristina: You know what? You know, you were there, too. You were there, too. With your sad eyes screaming at me to save his life.
Meredith: I wasn't...
Cristina: Telling the guy to shoot you and not giving a crap about yourself or your pregnancy.
Meredith: Cristina!
Cristina: I didn't have a choice! And you did that! If it was anyone else on the table, if it was anyone else standing there, I would have walked away!
Meredith: You would not have--
Cristina: I would have walked away!
Meredith: You--
Cristina: And then I wouldn't be here!
Cristina: What is wrong with you?
Meredith: Everything is wrong. Derek is decaptiting a teenager and April Kepner is assisting. And you're sitting reading about lillies of the freakin' valley.Cristina: Well, you prefer peonies?Meredith: We are not better. (Cristina sighs) Cristina, a psychatrist given several opportunties, has deemed me unfit to do my job.Cristina: Well, he'll get over it. Just go back in a couple of days.
Meredith: You are not better.
Cristina: Well, in a couple days I'll be better, too.Meredith: In a couple days, you'll be married.
Cristina: Are you trying to talk me out of this?
Meredith: Look at me and tell me that you're sure.
Cristina: Okay, you know, no you don't get to do this, okay? All you get to do is help me break the tie between of the lilies of the valley and the peonies. That's it.
Meredith: No, no, I do get to do this. I do get to do this, Derek is the love of my life, but you're my soulmate. I do get to do this. I mean, why can't it wait six months?Cristina: Please.
Meredith: Your flowers aren't going anywhere. You broke up with him because he couldn't choose you.
Cristina: Don't. Don't do this.
Meredith: Just why does it have to be right now?
Cristina: You know what I think? I think you should tell Derek about the miscarriage. Meredith: We're talking about you.
Cristina: We're talking about us not being better. Then you need to tell him.
Meredith: He's not ready. He's not okay.
Cristina: Well, you're not okay. You should tell him.Every cell in the human body regenerates on average every seven years. Like snakes, in our own way we shed our skin. Biologically we are brand new people. We may look the same, we probably do, the change isn't visible at least in most of us, but we are all changed completely forever.
Meredith: What are we picking?Cristina: Dress color. I'm not wearing white, it's sexist and vaguely racist. No white, no vail, no rice.
Meredith: Well, what would your mother say?
Cristina: Oh, no mother.
